I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
