I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
