i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
