i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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