Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
