Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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