I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize