It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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