I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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