I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize