which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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