at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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