my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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