Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
