So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
