So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
