Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
