I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are we still banned from the library?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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