You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
