You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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