Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
