Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
two words: eviction party
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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