Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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