Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
