Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
