His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
