I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
