been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
