her vagine was all disorganized.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
