well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
