people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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