The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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