Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
