You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
