we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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