that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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