Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
