i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
