Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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