Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
