Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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