im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
