Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
im having a threesome with these popsicles
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
