Nicole vs. Life
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize