Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
