OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
