Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize