Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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