Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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