Got a toothbrush?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize