I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
