sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im holly from the hills drunk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
