kristin has been a bad kristin
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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