meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
