Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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