You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
