So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
