You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize