i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
