just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found puke in my bra..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
