I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
