i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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